Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
