The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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