yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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