All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
