he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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