therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
