I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
