I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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