If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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