There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
