She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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