Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
