I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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