i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I touched a dick in church today
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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