4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
