You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
