That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
