I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
