I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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