69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
