found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
