I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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