Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
