I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
