Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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