we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Your cock deserves a montage
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
