I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
