You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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