So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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