I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
COCAINE IS GR8
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
