bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
