Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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