Small penises have feelings too.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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