In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
