you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
