Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
