life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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