Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
