i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
