you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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