I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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