we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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