hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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