i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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