i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
