just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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