Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
