I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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