have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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