dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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