I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
