plz talk dirty to me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
