Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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