Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
