remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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