I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
