you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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