You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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