Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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