Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
